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Sunday, 23 February 2014

Walking Over Alice's Grave - Chapter 2



The Miniskirt Enables Young Ladies To Run Faster And, Because Of It, They May Have To.
- John V. Lindsay

Gepetto and I soon left Zurich.  There was nothing left for me there, and I found it hard seeing Yuri’s grave every day.  We stayed just long enough for me to finish carving a tombstone.  It was rough and uneven, but I couldn’t let anyone else do it.  It was my job.

Gepetto and I moved to Domremy.  When the shock from Yuri's death had begun to wear off, I asked myself what I could do with my life. I had not forgotten the thought I had had as I was burying him. If Yuri's soul had any regrets it would still be hanging around, but where? His soul was not here with me, I knew that much.  Yuri had never seemed to get over losing his father – perhaps he was in Shanghai, where his father had died, or in Japan, where Yuri had grown up?  In China, where his mother died?  In Russia, where she came from?  In Wales, where we had talked with such joy among the ruins?

Would I search the entire earth for a soul that might have moved on already?

I have not replaced my hair ribbon; I feel that it would cheapen the one I gave to Yuri if I simply wore another one.  Instead, I keep my hair loose, about my shoulders.  In a larger town or city, I may have found myself accused of immodesty, but the people of Domremy are used to me.

. I still wear Yuri's father's coat, but the crucifix I left draped over his headstone.  It was the last thing I did before Gepetto and I left Zurich.  I spent hours there in vigil, hoping his soul would come to me, but it did not.

I am twenty-one now, but my birthday passed unnoticed, by me at least. Gepetto had a tailor make me new clothes and shoes, an expensive gift.  They are black, which is an appropriate colour for a widow.  Gepetto and I settled on that claim, as we were concerned I might be pregnant after the night Yuri and I spent together.  I was not, am not, and a part of me regrets it.  It would be wonderful to have a part of him still here with me, but thinking that way makes me feel like I am closer to accepting his death.  I don’t believe I will ever accept Yuri’s death, and I don’t want to.  I would give anything to have him alive again, even my own soul.  I will not simply accept that he is gone, after all we went through together.

I saw the inside of Yuri’s soul once.  After he took the Seraphic Radiance inside himself in Shanghai.  We found him in Bistritz, six months later, violent and confused.  Zhuzhen, Keith and I managed to subdue him, but as soon as we did, both Yuri and I fell unconscious.  I did not realize at the time that that was what had happened, of course – Keith and Zhuzhen told me later.

Yuri’s mind was a graveyard.  There were graves for each of his fusion monsters, each one linked to a feeling or memory of his.  I examined them, and was left with nothing more or less than a desire to protect him and keep him safe.

I saw a gate leading to another part of him; through it, I could see Yuri digging.  He didn’t respond when I called to him.  Searching for another way, I saw a doorway guarded by four masks.  I felt a deep sense of malice coming from the door, but with no way to reach Yuri, I headed towards it.  It was then that I began to hear someone calling my name.  I tried to ignore the voice – I knew I had to find a way to get to Yuri.  But, the world began swirling and dissolving as they called to me.  Turning back, I threw myself against the gates, again and again.  As they dissolved, I crashed through them, falling into Yuri.  We both fell into the hole he’d been digging.  We fell through the darkness for a long time before we awoke.

I woke up soaked to the skin, with Margarite slapping at my face.  She’d thrown icy water over me in an attempt to wake me.  Yuri sat next to me, quiet, subdued, but undeniably himself.  I gave him back his father’s necklace as soon as we had a quiet moment together.  I had hoped that it would cheer him a little, but it didn’t seem to.

Eventually, after a while in Domremy, I made up my mind to visit Zhuzhen. We had worked as exorcists and psychic investigators together, and with his years of experience, he may think of something I hadn’t.  He had also known Yuri’s father, and might well know where Yuri had grown up, and where his mother was buried.  His father had never had a grave, having been killed when he had tried to fuse with the Seraphic Radiance, years before Yuri had managed it. 

I had considered asking Koudelka, as her psychic powers were greater even than my own, but after the life she had had, it seemed best to let her in peace.  Besides, I had no idea how to find her.  I did, however, attempt to contact Margarite, in the hopes that she would accompany me.  She has always been a stronger fighter than I am alone, and I was wary of attempting a journey without her.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t find her either.

            Alone, I set out for Shanghai. War had been declared in Europe, but had not yet touched us; I hoped the town would be safe until I was able to return.

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